GOLDEN HOTEL CAIRO, EGYPT -- 24

3-Star Hotel that Offers 10-Star Service at Backpacker Prices

My bucket of chicken arrived quite a long time after the order was placed.

But I was thrilled to see dinner rolls, fries, chicken rice and those four pieces of bird -- when it did arrive.

Ahmad, in his Arabic-influenced English, knocked on my door to say “gzhentleman, your chicken has arrived.”

I would have gone a day and half without eating real food if not for Ahmad’s courtly service and phone perseverance.

Huddled in the little kitchen, re-warming KFC of all things, with Ahmad's help.

Well, it was the perfect cap on becoming part of the family at Downtown Cairo’s homey and lovely Golden Hotel.

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GOLDEN HOTEL CAIRO, EGYPT -- 23

3-Star Hotel that Offers 10-Star Service at Backpacker Prices

I talked to the Golden Hotel staff about dodging a few sprinkles on the way to the museum and they looked at me like I was crazy. 

Turned out, record rain was predicted and the government had closed schools, universities, businesses and museums.

I watched what would be a so-so rain in the subtropics turn into a disaster in Cairo. 

Virtually all businesses closed by noon. 

Starving, I had Ahmad call in some food for delivery. 

Turns out KFC was the only place open and delivering.

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GOLDEN HOTEL CAIRO, EGYPT -- 22

3-Star Hotel that Offers 10-Star Service at Backpacker Prices

My last full day, I was planning to re-visit the very nearby Egyptian Museum.

But wet weather put the brakes on that.

When I returned from Luxor, I noted that rain was in the forecast. 

I’m from Miami, where we get more than 60 inches of rain per year. 

Cairo, built on the desert, averages less than an inch per year.

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GOLDEN HOTEL CAIRO, EGYPT -- 21

3-Star Hotel that Offers 10-Star Service at Backpacker Prices

Ahmad politely frowned and produced what looked to be a yellow box for a deck of cards.

It contained Antinal, Egypt’s best bind up your belly med.

I took one from his stash.

He insisted I take the whole blister pack. 

He refused any money that he could use to replenish his stock. 

Those pills and his suggestion of a place for simple, clean gut-binding food is the only reason I could leave my bed after noon.

Ahmad's healing powers allowed me to enjoy the rest of the day touring, including a sunset felucca on the Nile.

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GOLDEN HOTEL CAIRO, EGYPT -- 20

3-Star Hotel that Offers 10-Star Service at Backpacker Prices

The next morning, I crawled down to breakfast. I wanted tea and toast on my belly.

I sheepishly told the front desk man – Ahmad – that I could use a fresh supply of toilet paper and hand soap.

All-knowing, he quietly asked me if I had spent the night doing what I in fact had done.

I showed him a packet of Imodium-like pills that I had picked up at a pharmacy on the walk back home from the Koshary house, when the belly was rumbling.

They were not doing the job.

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GOLDEN HOTEL CAIRO, EGYPT -- 19

3-Star Hotel that Offers 10-Star Service at Backpacker Prices

Much later in the day, after the tour (camel ride up charge of course) of Giza's Great Pyramids, I went for a Cairo classic.

After a gut-busting plate of Koshary at legendary Abou Tarek, I barely made it home in one piece.

Pharaoh’s’ revenge hit me hard. 

Thank goodness the Golden is not stingy about leaving extra TP in the room.

What likely was food poisoning from reheated nasty chicken at worst – a GI tract bad reaction to microbes in the unwashed veggies under said bird at the best – left me with a cleansing unmatched to this point in my 50-plus years of globe-trotting.

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GOLDEN HOTEL CAIRO, EGYPT -- 18

3-Star Hotel that Offers 10-Star Service at Backpacker Prices

Nabil had sternly warned – hot food only. 

No peeled fruit, no salad, no juices, no meat on a bed of lettuce or salad.

The below mediocre lunch stop brought out item after item that violated Nabil’s warning. 

When I ordered, I clearly said I was fine with tahini and bread only.

I finally allowed a few bits of roast chicken on a bed of allegedly grilled vegetables as part of my "free" meal included in the tour company's base price.  

The amount I was charged for two small coke bottles (drinks not included) probably covered the expense of the mass-produced “free” array of food brought to the table.

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GOLDEN HOTEL CAIRO, EGYPT -- 17

3-Star Hotel that Offers 10-Star Service at Backpacker Prices

My tour had nothing to do with the Golden Hotel

The outside tour company me plopped down at a fragrance factory (one of maybe 100 similar tourist traps exist.) 

I protested till I was allowed to leave. 

I must have railed so hard that the driver mumbled “guess you will NOT want to stop at the Papyrus Museum?"

My answer was a resounding correct.

Dozens of these so-called museums that are simply gift shops – and what the hell would one do with papyrus anyway?

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GOLDEN HOTEL CAIRO, EGYPT -- 16

3-Star Hotel that Offers 10-Star Service at Backpacker Prices

When Nabi learned I had pre-booked a tour online – early morning to Memphis and Sakkara, then lunch overlooking and a visit to the grounds of the Great Pyramids, he warned me.

He said I would be up-sold and taken to places I didn’t want to see.

He promised these are things his driver would not do.

He proved correct.

Upon pickup, I was up-charged some kind of single occupant fee roughly half of what I’d paid when booking.

And the tour company's guide made it clear that $20 USD would be a so-so tip (even though most would be beyond thrilled with 200 Egyptian Pounds, about $13 USD).

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GOLDEN HOTEL CAIRO, EGYPT -- 15

3-Star Hotel that Offers 10-Star Service at Backpacker Prices

I would share my adventures with Nabil.

And he would sell me the services of his driver (quite a bit more pricey than Uber but more reliable, dependable and cost-effective than a taxi.) 

Then I had Golden's sedan ferrying me to and from the kitschy-fun sound & light show at the Pyramids of Giza after dark.

Next was a connect the dots tour of the famed Citadel, various historic mosques (both charge a small admission) and sights/sounds of the endlessly intriguing city.

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GOLDEN HOTEL CAIRO, EGYPT -- 14

3-Star Hotel that Offers 10-Star Service at Backpacker Prices

I ate chicken shawarma – the best I’ve ever had, both on a pita and baguette – for a couple bucks at FelFela next door. 

I brought home fine baked goods – Arabic nut/honey-based and fine European chocolate torts – from historic El Abd Patisserie‎ just up Talaat Harb.

I smoked the sisha till my head was light, balancing puffs with lukewarm bottled water and endless hot mint tea—at a popular haunt that had usurped an alleyway just footsteps from the Golden.

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GOLDEN HOTEL CAIRO, EGYPT -- 13

3-Star Hotel that Offers 10-Star Service at Backpacker Prices

Nabil delighted in coaxing me out to that balcony, with the lovely sun low in the western sky on the opposite side of the street. 

We would speak of architecture, society, civilization, museums, great food (fancy sit down and street variety), different cultures, travel, history and more.

He instantly understood that while I was going to see the Pyramids of Giza, take a boat out on the Nile and visit a few tourist-friendly spots (Khan Khalil, Coptic Cairo, the Egyptian Museum)...

...that I really liked getting lost in the backstreets, the dusty alleys, the endless marketplaces, the ancient mosques and clamorous-enchanting old neighborhoods of endlessly-expanding Cairo.

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GOLDEN HOTEL CAIRO, EGYPT -- 12

3-Star Hotel that Offers 10-Star Service at Backpacker Prices

The balcony in Golden’s kitchen overlooks all the street theater on Talaat Harb. 

Nabil loves to light up a cigarette.

By the way, it seems that everyone smokes in Cairo. 

The nonsmoking section often is one or two little tables – in the center of a full-smoking dining room.

Then Nabil has some coffee or tea.

Egyptians must be second only to Turks in tea consumption.

Then Nabil watches the world go by.

Sometimes he has a friend with him and they will be animatedly chatting in French, then Arabic, a tiny bit of English, then back to Arabic.

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GOLDEN HOTEL CAIRO, EGYPT -- 11

3-Star Hotel that Offers 10-Star Service at Backpacker Prices

Golden Hotel owner Nabil is French-Arab and has managed many hotels. 

He grew up in Alexandria and has many suggestions for places to see in the grand old city on the Mediterranean.

Each afternoon, as I would come back a little sunburned, windburned and eyes hurting from the dust and car exhaust, gray-haired, 60-something Nabil, the owner, would greet me.

My room was on the fourth (fifth, the way U.S. does floor numbering) floor and the reception is on the third. 

There’s a little kitchen with a couple tables off the front desk. It’s largely for staff – some live on premises – to cook a meal and store their lunches in the full-size fridge.

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GOLDEN HOTEL CAIRO, EGYPT -- 10

3-Star Hotel that Offers 10-Star Service at Backpacker Prices

There is one quirk that might put some people off, but it is not uncommon for small, family-operated hotels in Africa, the Middle East and Turkey. 

You have to leave your room key at the desk when leaving…whether it’s for the day, a few hours or to run next door for some shawarma.

It does prevent one from carrying around a big key fob, or losing one’s key on the never-ending streets of Cairo.

I don’t remember a room safe, but I felt 100% secure leaving spare camera lenses, cash and valuables (tucked in a slot in my suitcase) in the room while staff had access to make the bed, empty the baskets and leave everything super clean.

I simply cannot imagine Nabil, the owner, hiring or tolerating a person who would mess with belongings in a guestroom.

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GOLDEN HOTEL CAIRO, EGYPT -- 9

3-Star Hotel that Offers 10-Star Service at Backpacker Prices

A very interesting contraption of wooden forms – almost like the old LP crates, for those of you old enough to have collected vinyl in college – made for an efficient way of story my clothes on hangers, suitcase up top, daily finds, medicines and much more.

There was a nice flat screen TV, but I really didn’t use it much. 

Better still was a remote-controlled AC unit…which also had heat, which I used more because I was there in the last month of winter and after midnight in the desert is chilly.

Breakfasts offered toast, butter, jam, yogurt, eggs, cheese, fruit and more – though I usually went for just a simple toast and coffee combo.

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GOLDEN HOTEL CAIRO, EGYPT -- 8

3-Star Hotel that Offers 10-Star Service at Backpacker Prices

The bed was super comfortable.

It was just semi firm enough to rival the best beds I’ve slept on in major cities where the going rate was more than 10 times Golden’s.

There were plenty of outlets for recharging phone, camera, etc. – and super convenient night stands on each side.

A dorm-sized fridge ran whisper quiet and was perfect for stocking up at the corner store and chilling bottled water, soda, milk, leftovers, desserts. 

And you will want to drink from a bottle – one that you can tell has a seal that is not broken – Cairo tap water will give you the runs…even if you use it to rinse your toothbrush.

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GOLDEN HOTEL CAIRO, EGYPT -- 7

3-Star Hotel that Offers 10-Star Service at Backpacker Prices

Warm water?

Oh, the times I have stayed in North Africa when promised hot water was rumored but never experienced.

Golden Hotel has a hot water tank in each room. It didn’t run forever, but it was plenty for a long, steamy shower. 

Plus, it quickly replenished more hot water in less than an hour.

The bathroom was clean and efficient. 

My room was not large, but very high ceilings, old world elegance and a lovely balcony looking out over famous Talaat Harb street kept me from ever even remotely feeling claustrophobic.

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GOLDEN HOTEL CAIRO, EGYPT -- 6

3-Star Hotel that Offers 10-Star Service at Backpacker Prices

Admittedly, from the street, the Golden does not wow you.  

There’s a not so glamorous sign wedged among the retail shop’s signage, a narrow entrance and a flight of more than a dozen stairs to reach an ancient elevator.

I’m used to elevators being flush with the ground floor entrance. 

That way, people who use wheelchair, walkers and crutches can access upper floors without doing the steps.

Well, there must be 100, maybe 10 times that many, beautiful old downtown Cairo buildings with the odd setup of enter, do the stairs, then enter a quirky but beautiful old cage elevator.

This is the kind of lift that doesn’t work unless you close the door tightly.

But it looked to be refurbished, so it had the best of both worlds – old world appearance but modern upgrades for safety and stability.

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GOLDEN HOTEL CAIRO, EGYPT -- 5

3-Star Hotel that Offers 10-Star Service at Backpacker Prices

On the plus side, the hotel workers and other guests were super quiet at night, so even a light sleeper like me was able to catch sound slumber.

Is it grimy? 

Well, a combination of sand from the desert, car pollution, street vendors cooking all sorts of food and dust cast off by more than 20 million Cairenes...

Yes, the city is blanketed in a bit of grime.

But I saw Golden Hotel workers mopping stairs, hallways and every inch of common areas at a pace that would put a Ritz Carlton to shame.

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