THE WORST PLACE TO EAT IN ALL OF NEW YORK

E.A.T. BY ELI ZABAR

This sewer hole is a pox on the Zabar family name.

I would rather eat a dirty hotdog that fell in the gutter and got kicked by a rat than give these swindlers my money.

Foul attitude, foul food -- avoid this like the plague.

Left the MET starving. Was on the way to Pastrami Queen. Wasn't sure if there would be a wait, saw a nice outdoor table (because it was drizzling and chilly) so I sat down here, lured by the Zabar name.

Big, big, huge mistake.

Waiter was rude and nasty -- not like hard edge New York it's part of the experience...no, just jackass.

I order hot pastrami on rye, mustard on side, nothing else on it.

Quite possibly the simplest order in the history of Manhattan lunch requests.

Well, this overwhelmed them and screwed me over.

Pastrami please? Waiter: In think we're out.

It's not even 1 p.m., how can you be out?

Waiter: I'll see what I can do.

Me, Dr. Brown's Diet Dark Cherry....Waiter: interrupts, no Dr. Brown, no anything but coke.

Coke Zero please. Waiter: We might have a Diet Coke left.

Food comes. It's maybe 2 ounces of pastrami. Maybe.

Both sides of bread drowned in mustard. I love mustard. This was drowned.

And easily 2 or more ounces of sauerkraut.

I loathe sauerkraut. Just do. Thus, my polite but emphatic order of meat on bread, deli mustard on the side please.

Maybe they put the ton of mustard and kraut to try to pretend to make it look like 4 or 5 ounces of something was in between the stale bread.

I should have walked off. Left a few sawbucks for the ounce of Diet Coke I'd swigged.

I ask about the mess on my plate -- the abundance of meal-ruining kraut and the ounce-plus of pastrami.

The waiter goes off on me, acting like I should give him a 40% tip for getting me the last of the pastrami (I do remember him taking great delight in telling the table next to me that I got the last of the pastrami).

I scraped off the kraut, leaving me with barely one ounce of meat. Oh, and the sandwich was north of 30 bucks. I could have had 10 times the amount of pastrami, brought the way I like it without sauerkraut -- and at about 20 bucks -- if I had walked a few more blocks to Pastrami Queen.

I ask for a pickle, to try to fill my belly. No pickle comes with it, it's like a few bucks up charge.

I really don't want to give these rip-off artists another penny, so I decline the add-on.

I finish, quickly, considering I got about 1/20th of what I paid for, and went to use the restroom. The other moron rude waiter inside gave me hell, acting like I wasn't a customer. Glad he did. Any modicum of professionalism would have given me a heart attack.

I went around the corner and spent more of my money (and half blew my diet) getting wonderful gelato for a fair price at Anita La Mamma del Gelato.

Between food + tip at E.A.T. (highway robbery) and food + tip at Anita (good deal considering the great product). I was out more than $50 USD.

Avoid this place. It exists only to rip off tourists in the vicinity of Museum Mile and locals that are 100 years old and have lost all use of taste buds.