MIAMI CONTRACTOR BLUES PART 4

SIR, I’M JUST 5 MINUTES FROM YOUR HOUSE...NAH, BS

I’M 40 MILES AWAY BUT I WILL INSULT YOUR INTELLIGENCE AND LIE

I need a second opinion on a plumbing job.

I find a highly-recommended guy and when I reach him, I tell him that being on time is very, very important to me. 

I figure if you cannot master the simplest act of not wasting my time, then you must not be able to know the difference between hot water and cold….where the difference between where #2 exits the toilet and where the water comes in to flush it down.

He says he’s always on time, so we schedule for 4 p.m. on a weekday.

At 3:30 p.m., I text to him to confirm.

Nothing. 

I go ahead and leave work early. 

On the way home at 3:50 p.m., I text him my address…just in case he needs it.

Nothing.

As I’m pulling into my driveway, at 4 p.m., he calls.

“Mr. Wright, I’m going to be about 15 minutes late.”

Ok, I can live with that I say.

About 15 minutes later, my cell phone rings again.

“Mr. Wright, what’s your address?

I texted, I remind him.

“Oh, well, okay, give it to me again.”

Okay, but where are you?, because if you were 15 minutes away from my house when you phoned 15 minutes ago, you’d be here by now.

“Oh, I’m in far West Kendall.”

For those of you not from Miami, that’s a good 30 miles from our home. In rush hour traffic, it could take well more than an hour.

Uh, if you do not have a helicopter – and by theway, we don’t have a helipad – you will not get here till 5 p.m. at the earliest, so at 4 p.m., why did you lie and say you would arrive in 15 minutes?

“Well, Mr. Wright, sir, we got really busy with this job and lost track of time.”

But when we made the appointment, I said being on time is important to me.

Surely, when you saw the job located so far from my home was getting out of hand, you could have texted me to tell me you’d be late.

And stop calling my sir. It is doing nothing to make me forget you are screwing up royally.

“Yes, sir, I know, I’m going to drive really fast….”

Knowing it is impossible to drive really fast in Miami traffic – unless maybe you’re the last person left alive after a nuclear holocaust that somehow left your work van and the roadways from Kendall to Little Havana intact – I quickly lose interest in this clown. 

But there is much more to this idiot’s incompetence. 

We’ll visit that tomorrow.